Many women feel lost when it comes to helping their husbands or partners with erectile dysfunction. Do they bring it up, or wait for him to? Should they play it down like it’s no big deal, or recommend seeking medical attention? But the bottom line is that erectile dysfunction does affect women in the relationship, so talking about it together is important. But how you talk about it matters too.
Sex educator and therapist Dr. Laura Berman says, “Once ED occurs, the man can start to become very anxious about it happening again. Ironically, this can make ED more likely to occur, and it can also complicate his relationship with his partner…. Meanwhile, his partner might have no idea what’s going on and be very concerned and even angry.” Talking about erectile dysfunction openly can help a couple avoid festering questions and ill feelings. Both people should address the situation with understanding, rather than it turning into a “blame game.”
Here are few do’s and don’ts for women when talking about erectile dysfunction with their husband or partner:
- Be brave enough to start the conversation. Silence or avoidance won’t make the condition any better, and it will likely harm your relationship. Don’t be afraid to start the conversation, but do so with an open mind and caring attitude.
- Enter the conversation with support, not judgment. Judgment implies you know more or are better than the situation, which is never a good way to start a conversation. Remind him of how much you care, and reaffirm that you’re in this together.
- Don’t be afraid to try something new. Explore new ways of physical contact that shows you care more about him than just penetration.
- No joking or teasing allowed. Even if your intention is to lighten the mood, these little remarks can be a big hit to his self-esteem and turn the conversation away from something positive and loving.
- Encourage talking with a doctor and seeking medical attention. His doctor will have important information about treatment.
Meanwhile, talk to your doctor about natural treatment options like a penis pump and how you purchase one from Aeroflow and file through your insurance.